The San Francisco 49ers (specifically their offense)
Ladies and gentlemen, I am a patient child. I try my best at all times to “Keep calm and ___.” I also try to not show favoritism, writing about larger trends rather than my own local teams. But when I watch the 49ers attempt to scrap together a drive, I lose my freakin mind. The ineptitude of one Brian Hoyer is such that I feel like curling into a ball in my room and never watching football again, for I know the next time will be the last (because my head would physically ex